Infertility and Sexuality — When Desire Becomes Obligation
In the beginning, everything is spontaneous. Desire leads to closeness. The closeness of love. And love - to the dream of a child.
But when conception does not occur easily, intimacy often begins to change.
Sex — the most natural expression of a relationship — begins to feel like an obligation. Sexuality becomes a calculation. Ovulation. Schedule. Pressure.
What happens in the couple?
- Pressure on the man — he is expected to “act on order”, often without the possibility of an emotional response;
- Decreased desire in women — cycle after cycle of frustration change the body feeling;
- Loss of spontaneity — sex happens “according to plan”, not “by passion”;
- Isolation between partners — out of shame, guilt or fear of rejection;
- Body as a tool, not as a pleasure — especially in women in prolonged hormonal stimulation.
Sexuality is not just biology
Sexuality is an experience. Connecting. Feeling of desire, acceptance, pleasure.
When infertility enters the bedroom, many couples lose the feeling of it. They begin to have sex for the sake of the “mission”, not for themselves.
And when there is no result, in the end there is nothing left but a sense of failure. In the body. In masculinity. In femininity. In the pair.
How to restore closeness?
- Take time for tenderness without sexual expectation;
- Talk about fear, not just the schedule;
- Plan pleasure, not just ovulation;
- Seek a therapist — individually or as a couple
- Change the routine — place, atmosphere, expectations.
It is important to know:
- Decreased libido does not make you a “bad partner”;
- Sex “by obligation” is not a sustainable path;
- Your body deserves pleasure, not just a function;
- Intimacy is part of the treatment — not just a side sacrifice.
Conclusion
Infertility affects not only the reproductive system, but also the intimate world between two people. And if we want to truly heal, we shouldn't leave sexuality out of the equation.
Sexuality is more than a means of conception — it is part of love. And love is the foundation on which children are born.