How to deal with moments of anger on the way to pregnancy?
In addition to sadness, fear and hope, there is also anger during the treatment of infertility. Sometimes quiet, sometimes stormy. But always real.
Anger at your body. To the time. To the girlfriends who “got pregnant by accident.” To the doctors. To life. And — most painfully — sometimes even anger at your partner or at yourself.
It is important to know: anger is normal!
Anger is a protective reaction to pain. And when you struggle with something as emotional and uncertain as the desire to have a child, anger is part of the process. Don't deny it. Admit it. He doesn't make you a bad person. It shows that you care.
Where does the anger come from?
- From the loss of control — the feeling that the body does not “listen”;
- From injustice - why it works for others and not for me;
- From fatigue — cycle after cycle, test after test;
- From the pressure of time — especially if age is a factor;
- From external comments — “calm down”, “just don't think so much about him”.
What doesn't help?
- Blaming yourself for being angry;
- Pretend that everything is fine;
- Isolate your partner from emotions;
- Trying to be the “perfect patient”, without the right to feelings.
What can help?
- Name the emotion — “I'm angry. On the situation. Expectations. That I can't control things.”
- Write — not to publish, but to release;
- Exercise or move — anger needs a way out
- Talk to a therapist or a loved one who just listens;
- Create an “angry ritual” - a walk, music, silence - whatever calms you;
- Give yourself permission to be in process — not in perfect shape.
And the anger towards yourself?
This is the hardest anger. Because it often comes with the feeling, “It's my fault.”
You are not. Your body does not betray you. He is doing the best he can at this moment. Don't punish him! Love it! It is also waiting with you.
Conclusion
The anger on the way to pregnancy is real. It has a right to exist. And if we accept it, if we admit it, it will not destroy us. On the contrary, it can make us stronger, truer and more compassionate towards ourselves.
Being angry doesn't mean you've lost hope. Sometimes it means that you still believe — and that it hurts because you care so much.